If you’re a stay-home mom, which title do you prefer: housewife, homemaker, or full-time mom?

I’d pick “stay-home mom” or “homemaker” because they seem more modern. But since I hardly clean or cook or do all that much to make my home a cozier place, am not sure if I deserve to be called a homemaker! “Housewife” reminds me too much of my mother’s generation and it makes me think of a wife trapped at home, which is how my mom felt a lot of the time.

“Full-time mom” sounds fancy at first but if you think about it, it’s a huge insult to all the working moms out there who are just as dedicated to their kids, even if they can’t spend every single waking minute with them.

“Nonworking mothers are much more judgmental of working mothers than vice versa.”

I’m not sure about that. Both sides probably hold equally strong prejudices that are not without the tiniest grain of truth in them, i.e. “You’re letting your brain rot and your world get smaller” versus “You care more about money than your kids.”

I don’t think I truly understood that hanging around a kid all day could be energy sapping until I had one of my own! On the other hand, I realise that many stay-home moms have help and more free time than they let on. (Facebook, anyone?)

I don’t go out of my way to avoid working moms, it’s just that stay-home moms can do weekday morning meetups and tend to blog more, which makes it easier to connect and stay in touch. And I would advise any working mom thinking of “sacrificing her job” to hold off until she realises it’s a choice for herself, not a sacrifice or something that could result in future emotional debt for the kids.

More on moms versus moms in this NYMag piece.